It has been some time...
I highly doubt that anyone reads this anymore, but I felt like writing.
In a few weeks my good friend Tim is moving into his new house, built just a few miles north of here. He and his wife have been good friends to me. Tim is big on weight lifting and so, though our physical activities vary from aerobic to anaerobic, we get along rather well. His wife, Shannon, has few female friends in the area, so she hangs out with me. This is partially because Tim knows I am a trustworthy guy, and won't hit on his wife, as many other guys do.
Anyway, they will have a spare room in their new place, and offered it to me (I will pay rent obviously, but nothing outrageous.) Their 2 year old daughter knows me (as CRAZY Uncle Mike) and it all seems like a promising situation.
I especially look forward to it, because it allows me the opportunity to come and go as I please, to do what I want when I want, and to generally be free. I think my training, both in running and cycling, will benefit from this freedom.
Last week, Shannon finally did what she said she would do a month or so ago.
She said Mike, I'm gonna hook you up with one of my friends...(THANK GOD)
well it finally happened. Her friend Alexis, 18, blonde, beautiful was visiting. Shannon and her friend Lindsay talked me up a lot...and....nothing.
Well Shannon invited some guy friends, and they invited some more guy friends. And Tim decided that 1) his daughter was sick and 2) lots of random dudes showed up randomly and thought they could just stay the night. So, he kicked them out, and I back his decision 100%. But this also meant Alexis left. Now, my luck with women lately has been absolute shit. I got 2 numbers in Alpena, MI, neither of which went anywhere. So I knew that something would happen. Everything could be going smoothly, and a mack truck would careen off the road and kill her and ruin my chances. So I was almost not surprised or disappointed when she left. But at the same time, I was. It all made me feel like shit. I'm 26. she's 18. I don't think I can hack it anymore. I should just quit, or become a completely different person.
So my mood has been somewhat depressing lately, but also nostaligic. It's raining a lot, and somehow it reminds me of New England in the fall. Not the rain so much as the atmospheric pressure and temperature.
So how does any of this fit into the theme of running for which this blog was created?
Well, I have been running 3 days a week. A moderate goal I have set for myself but as yet been unable to attain. I think it is more 'honest' running, as it is usually after a long day of work. I could more easily lie around and watch movies or read a book, eat chow and go to bed. But instead I run a modest 5 miles or more. Slowly, but miles nonetheless.
I wish I knew who I was. I knew, several years ago.
"You remind me of the times when I knew who I was..."
Thursday, September 30, 2010
Friday, January 23, 2009
Pushing the Envelope
I never would have thought I could run so well at the Rock N Roll marathon. I hadn't trained well enough, my piriformis was still acting up, I didn't sleep, eat or hydrate well enough. But apparently, I am a stronger individual than I thought.
At OBX I ran til mile 16 with good form, maintaining a steady 7 minute pace. Once I made the decision to shoot for 3:10, difficult though it was, I wanted to push that good form a bit farther. I thought, rather minimally, to go for 18 miles with form. When I got there, I knew that I would, and could, keep moving (though with a bit more effort than normal) until 20. When I reached 20 I was on schedule, which is this sense is not a good thing, because the schedule does not account for fatigue. I was at this point in the plan because of (or in spite of) the first 10K I ran with Trev. We ran under 7 minute pace. Either it saved the energy I need to keep running with form until 20, or it slowed me down just enough to put me at the crozzroads of 3:10 and 3:19. I like to think that it helped me, since the elites will tell you to run negative splits. I would have gone out at 7:00 and probably crashed at or around the 16 mile mark.
During this crossroads, I came to understand just how much stronger I am. I am physically strong, but I think what makes more of a difference in the long run is mental toughness. Mentally, I will never quit. Ever. I think it has proven to be one of my greatest assets, but I can forsee a time when it may be a hindrance, a 'white whale' so to speak. I kept telling myself "don't stop. Don't ever stop." And I didn't.
I told Tom and Derek that it never gets easier, but your perception of it does. You learn to push back that boundary, that gray area after which you're unsure of how you will perform. I pushed it 4 miles, next time I'll push it 2 or 3 more. And sooner or later I'll just keep running, with form, for 26.2 miles.
Running is like life. I've known it for some time now, but this time with a new application.
Life doesn't get easier, but your perception of it changes. You push back the boundary, alter the gray area, until you've done it all, or have the confidence to take on any challenge. And all the while, all you can do is tell yourself "Don't stop. Don't ever stop."
At OBX I ran til mile 16 with good form, maintaining a steady 7 minute pace. Once I made the decision to shoot for 3:10, difficult though it was, I wanted to push that good form a bit farther. I thought, rather minimally, to go for 18 miles with form. When I got there, I knew that I would, and could, keep moving (though with a bit more effort than normal) until 20. When I reached 20 I was on schedule, which is this sense is not a good thing, because the schedule does not account for fatigue. I was at this point in the plan because of (or in spite of) the first 10K I ran with Trev. We ran under 7 minute pace. Either it saved the energy I need to keep running with form until 20, or it slowed me down just enough to put me at the crozzroads of 3:10 and 3:19. I like to think that it helped me, since the elites will tell you to run negative splits. I would have gone out at 7:00 and probably crashed at or around the 16 mile mark.
During this crossroads, I came to understand just how much stronger I am. I am physically strong, but I think what makes more of a difference in the long run is mental toughness. Mentally, I will never quit. Ever. I think it has proven to be one of my greatest assets, but I can forsee a time when it may be a hindrance, a 'white whale' so to speak. I kept telling myself "don't stop. Don't ever stop." And I didn't.
I told Tom and Derek that it never gets easier, but your perception of it does. You learn to push back that boundary, that gray area after which you're unsure of how you will perform. I pushed it 4 miles, next time I'll push it 2 or 3 more. And sooner or later I'll just keep running, with form, for 26.2 miles.
Running is like life. I've known it for some time now, but this time with a new application.
Life doesn't get easier, but your perception of it changes. You push back the boundary, alter the gray area, until you've done it all, or have the confidence to take on any challenge. And all the while, all you can do is tell yourself "Don't stop. Don't ever stop."
Tuesday, December 9, 2008
Bullshit
Tuesday, December 2, 2008
Hymn for the Exiled
Part 1: The Way We Were
As you know, I was home for Thanksgiving, and during this time I had the absolute pleasure of seeing 2 of my best friends and to do the simple activity which brought us together in the first place. I didn't know how long we were going to run, what the course was like or really how I would fare, as my ankle was still recovering from my marathon. It turned out though, to be one of the funnest runs I've been on. First: new blood. Tom: you're a cool dude, keep it up.
The mud and rain was almost exilharating, and the hills certainly added a bit of flavor to the run. And for whatever reason, I really enjoyed the ride up and back. Maybe it was the music, or the heated seats, or the lively conversation. Anthony, thank you so much for picking me up. I can't wait to get home to run with you all again.
Part 2: The Good Left Undone
I also had the chance on my short break to see some ladies socially. I had been dying to see Cassie since I was last home, but 9 months is a long time and things change. I suppose my hopes were too high to start with, maybe it was another case of hope clouding perception, and things not being how you imagined. There was no joy in Mudville that night.
However, I had been talking to a high school friend -Erin- off and on since my marathon. She wanted to get a drink if I had time when I was home and I was more than happy to oblige. I first met her sophomore year, and I was as in love as a high schooler can be with a girl who doesn't know he exists. I got over it, but she was always kind of my dream girl. So, for the last 8 years I continued with life, and she was always on the fringes of my mind. So imagine my surprise when she asks me to hang out. We got a drink at a very expensive restaurant in North Andover(the beer was at the end of the food menu, the wine had a menu unto itself.) and we were going to go bowling(on a whim) but the alleys were closing, so she suggested we watch a movie at her place. Fast forward through 12 magic hats, a decent Will Ferrell movie, and the first half of "The Notebook" and we're not even watching the TV anymore. I slept there that night(nothing happened) and came back the next day.
I felt a little guilty that I didn't spend my last night with my family, but they just kind of hang around and it's awkward. They want to be around me, but have nothing specific to do and it makes me uncomfortable. So I went back to Erin's. We had a bottle of wine (or 2) watched some movies, and then I serenaded her. No joke, Eagle Eye Cherry's "Save Tonight" was the perfect choice. And I slept there that night as well(lots more happened that night)
This short account is not to pat myself on the back, ask for kudos or add notches to my belt. Its to say that yes, good things really do come to those who wait.
It reminds me (though vaguely) of the Oresteia, or the tragedy of Orestes.
Orestes was the son of King Agammemnon, and was faced with the terrible task of revenging his father's murder by killing the murderer: his own mother. Orestes was far from his country, and did not jump hastily into his task. He debated his actions. How can one kill his mother to revenge his father? But ultimately revenge is the law of the gods, and after 12 years of waiting, Orestes killed Clytemnestra his mother, and her new husband. In a similar way, I waited 8 years for this girl, and when it seemed farthest from thought, the good came forth.
As you know, I was home for Thanksgiving, and during this time I had the absolute pleasure of seeing 2 of my best friends and to do the simple activity which brought us together in the first place. I didn't know how long we were going to run, what the course was like or really how I would fare, as my ankle was still recovering from my marathon. It turned out though, to be one of the funnest runs I've been on. First: new blood. Tom: you're a cool dude, keep it up.
The mud and rain was almost exilharating, and the hills certainly added a bit of flavor to the run. And for whatever reason, I really enjoyed the ride up and back. Maybe it was the music, or the heated seats, or the lively conversation. Anthony, thank you so much for picking me up. I can't wait to get home to run with you all again.
Part 2: The Good Left Undone
I also had the chance on my short break to see some ladies socially. I had been dying to see Cassie since I was last home, but 9 months is a long time and things change. I suppose my hopes were too high to start with, maybe it was another case of hope clouding perception, and things not being how you imagined. There was no joy in Mudville that night.
However, I had been talking to a high school friend -Erin- off and on since my marathon. She wanted to get a drink if I had time when I was home and I was more than happy to oblige. I first met her sophomore year, and I was as in love as a high schooler can be with a girl who doesn't know he exists. I got over it, but she was always kind of my dream girl. So, for the last 8 years I continued with life, and she was always on the fringes of my mind. So imagine my surprise when she asks me to hang out. We got a drink at a very expensive restaurant in North Andover(the beer was at the end of the food menu, the wine had a menu unto itself.) and we were going to go bowling(on a whim) but the alleys were closing, so she suggested we watch a movie at her place. Fast forward through 12 magic hats, a decent Will Ferrell movie, and the first half of "The Notebook" and we're not even watching the TV anymore. I slept there that night(nothing happened) and came back the next day.
I felt a little guilty that I didn't spend my last night with my family, but they just kind of hang around and it's awkward. They want to be around me, but have nothing specific to do and it makes me uncomfortable. So I went back to Erin's. We had a bottle of wine (or 2) watched some movies, and then I serenaded her. No joke, Eagle Eye Cherry's "Save Tonight" was the perfect choice. And I slept there that night as well(lots more happened that night)
This short account is not to pat myself on the back, ask for kudos or add notches to my belt. Its to say that yes, good things really do come to those who wait.
It reminds me (though vaguely) of the Oresteia, or the tragedy of Orestes.
Orestes was the son of King Agammemnon, and was faced with the terrible task of revenging his father's murder by killing the murderer: his own mother. Orestes was far from his country, and did not jump hastily into his task. He debated his actions. How can one kill his mother to revenge his father? But ultimately revenge is the law of the gods, and after 12 years of waiting, Orestes killed Clytemnestra his mother, and her new husband. In a similar way, I waited 8 years for this girl, and when it seemed farthest from thought, the good came forth.
Wednesday, November 19, 2008
Cool Running
Not much new here. It's beginning to get cold, like winter. Unfortunately it seems we have skipped Autumn alltogether, which is a shame becuause it's my favorite season. I have a peanut jar holding change I've collected over the last 6 months with "Petty's as yet unnamed running fund" written on it. I think I'll use the money to buy some gloves. I'm starting marathon training today(again) for Pheonix. Hopefully the extra month to train won't be negated by my lethargy toward running in cold weather.
Monday, November 10, 2008
Once More Unto the Breach
The Outer Banks Marathon was the best and worst marathon I have ever run.
To start, my stomach was jacked up. The beers from the night before weren't really agreeing with me, and a stop at the starting line port-o-potties didn't help much. I got to the 7:01-9:00 corral about 2 minutes before the race started, and when the gun went off I cruised out at what seemed like my normal 7:30ish pace. I felt light, comfortable and not too overly excited. I kept telling myself to relax, not to go out too strong and burn out. At mile 1 my time was 7:02, so I slowed down(or I thought I did) and by 2 I was at 14:00. 3 21:05. 4 28:04. I was running ahead of schedule, but I felt so good I just kept moving. At mile 8 we passed the Wright Brother's Memorial (pics on facebook) and at 10 we went into the woods. The flat dirt road and complete lack of houses reminded me of the Vermont 50K. It was hard to believe there was any place so remote on such a small island. In the woods I could have made a pit stop anywhere. My stomach was still aggravated from the night before, but I was making such good time I didn't want to stop. So I kept running. We came out of the woods at the half way point and I slurped down a 'carb-boom,' my first of many. My stomach pain was becoming unbearable, and I still had not seen any port-o-potties. At mile 15 I hopped a fence into a construction site and used theirs. I didn't see one specifically for the race until mile 16, which I think is a bit absurd. I was starting to slow down by this point, but still making good time. My ultimate time was slowly creeping up from 3:05, but I still held hopes of running 3:10 or less. I never walked because I was tired. I would walk during water stops, but never more than 50 feet. I always kept moving. At 20 I hit the wall, said "fuck you wall" and launched myself over it. 22 had the bridge connecting the 2 islands. You could see the bridge a long time before you got there and it was fairly daunting to think of its incline. Just before I started on the bridge a cop said "get ready for one hell of a hill" and in my usual, eloquent English I responded "fuck hills." And I kept running. I actually passed several people going up, but a bit of weaving was required as there were walkers all over. .75 to 1 mile before the finish I started to get pumped. I picked up my feet, fixed my stride and started to actually cruise again. But my left hamstring was so tight it felt like it would seize up and completely immobilize me, so I slowed down again. You rounded a corner and the finish was 100 yards ahead, so I picked it up again. I still felt very fresh, even if I didn't look it, but if anyone was going to see me, or take pictures, I wanted to look like I just had afternoon tea. I passed the line at 3:21:30-11:30 slower than my ultimate goal, but a ludicrous 19 minutes faster than my Hyannis PR of 3:40:49.
Why is it ludicrous you ask? Let's consider the last year. Boot Camp: I never ran more than 3 miles. MCT: no more than 2 miles. Florida: a couple long runs, lots of speedwork on the PFT's but ultimately no real training. Also, the amount of alcohol I drank in Florida was enough to keep a small brewery running on my business alone. So I got to OBX without having run a marathon in over a year, with only 5 weeks of serious training under my belt. I can only attribute my success to all the PFTs. Sure, they're only 3 miles, but every one is a tempo run. Also, I think I am mentally stronger. I absolutely will not stop under any circumstance. Ever.
But it was the worst marathon I have ever run because I ran it absolutely alone. No Trev, Alow, Nate, Billy, Jonesy or anyone.
Thursday, October 30, 2008
Smacking you in the face with my glove
I propose a new contest:
He who dies with the most T-Shirts, wins
free t shirts from athletic events, of course. I had this idea when I went to the pool to soak my legs because of running, a nice, easy, 20 minute cool down. But the girl working there says I get a free t shirt if I swim 233 laps, in honor of the Marine Corps' 233 birthday. I'm a sucker for t shirts, girls, and absurd and impromptu athletic challenges, so I signed up and set a modest goal of 50 laps for the day. This was a mere 5 times the most laps I had done since...senior year of high school. But who cares, I did it in just over an hour(This, after running 10 miles an hour earlier, and then playing 1 hour of intense basketball, at which I dominated(gangly arms are a plus)) Since then I've done 100 more, I plan to finish tomorrow and get my t shirt, and then sport it all over base.
So do everything and everything to get t shirts, medals of course have the 'bling' factor, but I don't like to do laundry so many shirts comes in handy.
He who dies with the most T-Shirts, wins
free t shirts from athletic events, of course. I had this idea when I went to the pool to soak my legs because of running, a nice, easy, 20 minute cool down. But the girl working there says I get a free t shirt if I swim 233 laps, in honor of the Marine Corps' 233 birthday. I'm a sucker for t shirts, girls, and absurd and impromptu athletic challenges, so I signed up and set a modest goal of 50 laps for the day. This was a mere 5 times the most laps I had done since...senior year of high school. But who cares, I did it in just over an hour(This, after running 10 miles an hour earlier, and then playing 1 hour of intense basketball, at which I dominated(gangly arms are a plus)) Since then I've done 100 more, I plan to finish tomorrow and get my t shirt, and then sport it all over base.
So do everything and everything to get t shirts, medals of course have the 'bling' factor, but I don't like to do laundry so many shirts comes in handy.
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